Obama US Inauguration Unicorn Grumpy Cat Pancake Art and Queef Poetry

January 24, 2013
(h/t Jessica Chasmar
art via ebay.com  and poetry via slate.com)
(I wonder if Beyonce did lip sinching for Qaddafi?)
Yahoo approached Alien vs. Predator versifier Michael Robbins. But the angry quatrains he delivered—titled “To the Drone Vaguely Realizing Eastward”—may have hit a bit too hard. Here’s a sample, from Robbins’ Tumblr:

Paging Pakistan and Yemen.
Calling all the drone-dead children.
The camel can’t come to the phone.
This is for the drone-in-chief.
Mumbai used to be Bombay.
The bomb bay opens with a queef.


Gay Unicorn

September 6, 2011
@Mothpete says You can’t really blame Noah for not knowing the two unicorns were gay.

An Old-Timey Circus Scandal: Lancelot the Unicorn

July 30, 2011
In the mid-1980s rumors crept through the land of a real life unicorn frolicking about California. His name was Lancelot. While skeptics claimed Lance was really a goat with a bull’s horn inhumanely affixed to its head, Ringling Bros. jumped on board and featured the “unicorn” as its main attraction in 1984. People were outraged at how fake the unicorn appeared to be, then again, were people seriously expecting a real unicorn? If I somehow have confused one 5-year-old angora caprine (goatlike) unicorn for another, my apologies. Lancelot was the creation of one Otter Zell, a California naturalist who, he says, uncovered the ancient secret of unicorn-making some years ago. He has yet to reveal this secret formula, but his thesis is that unicorns are not born, but made, developed by the ancients to be herd leaders and protectors. This ancient process apparently involves horn manipulation (one theory is that the young animal`s horn buds are removed, combined and surgically reattached in the center of the animal`s forehead), so that the animal develops a single, central horn–not an implant, but the animal`s own living tissue. Critics called it mutilation; Zell regarded it as advancement of the species.