Jewish Viewpoint on Premarital Sex

February 28, 2012

(Devorah) Generally, Judaism has a liberal viewpoint about premarital sex and human sexuality. This liberalism however does not condone nor approve of premarital or extramarital sex but provides the proper guidelines and conditions on when it should be done by a man and a woman.
From Judaism’s point of view, sex is a natural act between a man and a woman and is almost similar to eating and drinking. However, they also hold the opinion that anything natural if done improperly, can become a harmful, offensive and shameful. If done in the proper context, eating and drinking can be satisfying and if done according to God’s commandments, it even becomes a holy act.
Similarly, Judaism sees premarital sex as being against the religious law and is immoral but proper sex is a sacred and blessed act.
The Torah states that it is not good for man to be alone. Judaism views the sacrament of marriage as the fundamental means to legitimize the companionship, intimacy and sexual relationship and love between a man and a woman.
Since marriage is meant to sanctify the union of a man and a woman, Judaism values sex and physical intimacy as a means of strengthening vitally significant marital bonds and as a way of obeying the commandments of procreation.
In as much as the Torah also states for mankind to be fruitful and multiply, the commandment therefore elevates sex within marriage to a holy and sanctified act as it is performed in accordance with the commandments.
Generally, the Torah does not approve nor condone premarital sex. The stand is such that some Rabbis go as far as proclaiming that even if an individual sins with his eyes, he or she can be deemed guilty of adultery. Judaism’s zealous viewpoint has led to the segregation between men and women during festive occasions, in public and even having separate days for visiting and paying homage to the departed.
The only time that premarital sex is sanctioned is when the act of sexual intimacy is intended as a mode of lawful betrothal. Between engaged couples who may want to live in together prior to marriage, the relationship is prohibited by tradition.
All told, Jewish Law strictly prohibits sexual relations outside of marriage or before marriage even between two consenting adults. The religious pronouncements on sexuality are very clear and strict that even sexual relations between a man and wife in the context of marriage are covered by certain provisions. Jewish Family Purity Laws specifically forbids sexual relations when the wife is ritually impure (niddah) and declares that couples have to firmly refrain from sexual relations during the wife’s menstrual cycle. The strict ruling even goes as far as declaring that physical closeness between the wife and husband should be avoided as well during the wife’s menstrual period. Sexual relations can only be acceptable approximately 12 or 13 days after the first day of the menstrual cycle but not until after the wife has performed the necessary ritual of purification, mikvah.
Judaism does not look upon sexuality as essentially dirty or evil as some religions do. In fact, they have a very liberal viewpoint about sex and the physical intimacy of a man and a woman if it is done with love, and within the vows of a marriage.

in a world where the progressive left see marriage as a more and more a professional business arrangement for those involved in family making… it has become very expensive to be married. It also is involved in all kinds of red tape and bureaucracy involved in associating government in your interactions. I consider myself a social conservative, but I can not see consummating a marriage without killing the natural attraction to a girl. While my intent is to be married… If I were to really love a person I would not want to involve society in what I do. Further I would not want to be associated with gay marriage… which obviously would categorize my attraction in a similar way. I can most certainly see why so called legal marriage today would not be necessary for religious reasons in a Jewish community that has a perspective that is hostile to heterosexuality and it’s inherent exclusive nature.


Rick Santorum faces off with New Hampshire students on gay marriage

January 6, 2012
The Left attacks character like usual, but there is most certainly an existential reason for marriage and traditional marriage has an inherent character that a gay marriage would not.

Restrictions on rabbis from conducting weddings removed

September 21, 2011

I’m not sure what the details of this are. Can a Reform, Conservative, or even a Reconstructionist rabbi perform a wedding? How would this apply to say a Gay Marriage?

(JPost) Tzohar rabbis authorized as long as they supply proof of rabbinic ordination, know laws of marriage, currently serve as rabbi, teacher.

The religious-Zionist rabbinical group Tzohar, which provides rabbis free of charge to perform weddings, announced on Tuesday that it has succeeded in gaining approval from the Council of the Chief Rabbinate to conduct wedding ceremonies.
Executive Vice-President of Tzohar, Nachman Rosenberg, said that Sephardi Chief Rabbi Shlomo Amar in particular was critical to advancing the necessary changes for this reform.
“Tzohar praises this decision and especially the work of Rabbi Amar in succeeding to bring about this dramatic change, despite the opposition of some of the extremists on the Council of the Chief Rabbinate who oppose us,” Rosenberg told The Jerusalem Post on Tuesday.
“Rabbi Amar’s efforts will help many young people and allow them to marry in a Jewish wedding and not run away to get married in civil ceremony in Cyprus,” he added.
Tzohar established a project in 1996 to reach out to secular Israelis who had negative experiences with the Chief Rabbinate and provide them with the opportunity to have a rabbi more sympathetic to their level of religious observance marry them without charge or expectation of any other kind of remuneration.
According to Rosenberg, this led the rabbinate to enact a series of restrictions making it virtually impossible for a rabbi to marry a couple who registered for marriage in a particular city without the permission of the rabbinate of that specific city or a rabbi on the Chief Rabbinate’s payroll.
Opponents of Tzohar claim that the group is too lenient regarding the numerous Jewish laws surrounding marriage ceremonies, and so rabbis from the organization would invariably be refused a license to perform weddings.
On Sunday, the Council of the Chief Rabbinate decided to remove its restrictions and will now instruct local rabbinates and rabbis to permit Tzohar rabbis to perform wedding ceremonies as long as they supply proof of their rabbinic ordination, demonstrate knowledge of the laws of marriage, and currently serve as a rabbi or teacher.
Due to a number of exceptions and ongoing pressure, Tzohar has nevertheless managed to perform 3,000 weddings a year, approximately 20% of all secular weddings.
“There’s no reason why Zionist rabbis in Israel should have to fight so hard to help secular couples interested in a Jewish wedding to get married,” Rosenberg said.
“We hope that this victory will help thousands of secular Jews to get married according to Jewish law and allow many other rabbis to volunteer for Tzohar to further this goal.”

I’d appreciate if someone could leave me a comment and inform me what is going on here.

Selling off daughters for $700

October 15, 2010

We’ve discussed before how rich Saudis take vacations in other countries, notably Egypt, and “marry” women for the summer.
The Arab News adds more detail to this disgusting practice – and it is not only the Saudis who are guilty:

About 900 children born to Egyptian women and Saudi men in what is commonly known as “misfar” or “tourist” marriages are abandoned by their fathers, said an Egyptian activist at a recent forum on human trafficking.
Speaking at the conference in Egypt, Aiman Abu Akeel, chairman of the board of trustees of the Maat Foundation for Peace and Development, said that the majority of men who visit Egypt looking for misfar marriages tend to be Saudi, followed by Iraqis, and that the women they marry are predominantly younger than them.
“Misfar” marriage refers to a union contracted so that a woman may join her “husband” for the period of time he travels in a foreign country.
The women in such unions are divorced after a short time ranging from a week to a month, the Egyptian newspaper Al-Yaum Al-Sabi reported.
Speaking at the same forum, Azza Al-Jazaar, the general organizer of the Anti-Trafficking of Egyptian Girls program, said that these young women do not know they are being treated like commodities.
Their fathers receive up to 4,000 Egyptian pounds from these men for trading off their girls, she said, adding that most of these girls are below 16 years of age. [That’s about $700 – EoZ]
Statistics show that some SR100 million are spent on misfar marriages, which last for not more than a month, with 90 percent of Saudi fathers leaving behind children born out of such relationships.
However, Najeeb Al-Zamil, founder of the Back to the Roots Foundation, a nongovernmental organization that helps Saudi children abroad, said that although there are many such children in Arab countries, their suffering is less than that experienced by children born in non-Arab countries.
He added that these men abandon their families and children, as they fear what their relatives in the Kingdom will think.

(h/t Arthur)

Don’ts in Saudi Arabia

Mazel Tov To Marriage and Respecting Difference: Carrie Prejean To Marry NFL Quarterback

June 29, 2010
Prejean, 23, and Boller, 29, got engaged this February. The footballer plays for the Oakland Raiders and hails from Burbank, California.

Dethroned Miss California USA winner Carrie Prejean on holiday with her quarterback husband-to-be Kyle Boller

Getting wed: Dethroned Miss California USA winner Carrie Prejean on holiday with her quarterback husband-to-be Kyle Boller

the real Apartheid was in the Gay Community this year: (1) The largest Gay Pride parade in the world disinvited the Israeli contingent because of pressure from increasingly violent anti-Israel demonstrators in Spain (2) A bisexual softball team has decided that they were discriminated against by the North American Gay Amateur Athletic Association (NAGAAA) because they had too many heteros on their team. The lawsuit, filed in a federal district court, alleges that the North American Gay Amateur Athletic Association (NAGAAA) violates the Washington State law against sexual orientation discrimination in public accommodations. It says the group did so by imposing a rule that teams participating in the 2008 Gay Softball World Series could have no more than two heterosexuals per team. (3) Perez Hilton. the first part of respecting difference is respecting difference. acknowledging others comes with acknowledging different needs. Has sex without marriage for heterosexuals become any safer today then it was thousands of years ago? Do you support the bigotry of those against marriage that protects the identity and purpose of women and men and the dignity that comes from difference? Should those that labor for children not be recognized by the state?

Also I have pictures of some of the comments from Perez Hiltons blog… and he allows a lot of Antisemitism in his forums

Egypt restricts marriage to Israelis

June 6, 2010

Egyptians who marry Israeli women to lose citizenship

CAIRO  — Egypt’s  Supreme Administrative Court upheld a ruling on Saturday, that orders the country’s Interior Ministry to strip citizenship from Egyptians married to Israeli women.

Moynihan Report 45 Years Later

May 18, 2010

A family breakdown among blacks, not poverty or racism (“institutional” or otherwise), is the most urgent problem. But there’s no money or perks in looking into a mirror. No special Interests here.

 In 1965, Democrat Daniel Patrick Moynihan, then assistant secretary of Labor, sounded an alarm about the rising rates of illegitimacy in the black community (about 24 percent at the time) in a report titled, The Negro Family: The Case For National Action (dubbed the Moynihan Report).

The collapse of the black family, he contended, would have devastating social consequences. Branded a racist for merely stating facts, Moynihan was drummed into silence.
As we all know, Moynihan was vindicated. Today, only a third of black children are born to married parents. Over 70 percent are born outside wedlock. Children born into illegitimacy face higher risks of all sorts of social pathologies, including delinquency, drug use, criminality, and unwed pregnancy.
Marriage is not about shaming individuals regarding homosexuality.
Marriage is not even about sexual orientation.
Marriage is simply about managing the intrinsic forces of males and females making babies together.
Marriage functions through legal consequences and social expectations.
The problem with widening the expanse of marital functions is chiefly related to changing the social expectations that the institution of marriage produces.
Marriage helps for fathers as well.
It gives the man more legal force for his parental rights than he would have purely biologically.
It also provides a social institution that helps prevent forceful conflicts arising out of custody disputes and unwanted pregnancies.
Have we evolved as a society to the point where we are as safe and secure having sex outside of marriage as within it?

I interviewed Brown University history professor James T. Patterson about his book examining the tragic rise of illegitimacy rates, and the American political elite’s refusal to address the problem for decades. MP3, 50 minutes. During the course of our discussion, I mentioned my own writing about successful early intervention programs for at-risk children; that writing is contained in this Barry Law Review article, text at notes 214–28. (A much more detailed analysis is contained in my book Guns: Who Should Have Them?).

Marriage divorce rates of White Americans at 41% is Equivalent to Black American in the 1960s. Present Black American marriage divorce ratio is around 70% now.