Saudi Crown Prince Sultan bin AbdulAziz Al-Saud, Piss be on you.

July 9, 2011

Saudi Crown Prince Dies Abroad After Illness

…Bitch was operated on! Saudi Crown Prince Sultan is reported to have died in surgery in New York h/t Debka


Bin Laden Loved American Products, Especially Pepsi & Coke

May 4, 2011


…NEW PEPSI LOGO QUEEFS…
@Coca Cola



The two polite Pakistanis who helped Osama bin Laden hide in the shadow of their country’s army bought bulk food orders, chose major brands and equally favored Pepsi and Coke, neighbors and a local shopkeeper said.

Rashid and Akbar Khan owned the fortified residence where U.S. commandos killed bin Laden in an early morning raid May 2, and did the daily shopping in the Pashtu-language accents of Waziristan, a region on the Afghan border, said grocer Anjum Qaisar, 27, who works 150 meters from the compound. Bin Laden’s men “never came by foot, they always drove a Pajero or a little Suzuki van, and they bought enough food for 10 people,” Qaisar said in an interview yesterday.
…Bin Laden’s protectors “always bought the best brands — Nestle milk, the good-quality soaps and shampoos,” Qaisar said.

“They always paid cash, never asked for credit.” They purchased meat from a butcher nearby who stayed closed yesterday, he said.

Business Week via challahhuakbar.blogspot.com

Cats And Squirrels Hospital

November 4, 2010


Hollywood Celebrity Stories

November 4, 2010
All proceeds will go to save the starving anorexics in Beverly Hills

Ms. Williams
Excuse me young man.

Ben
Yess’um….

Ms. Williams
Do you have any romantic comedy with an older male curmudgeon?

Ben
Actually no ‘mam

Ms. Williams
Do you have any romantic comedy with Sean Connery?

Ben
Actually no ‘mam…, I don’t…, I don’t think he did any of those.

Ms. Williams
I thought this was a video store.

Ben
Well it is. But I don’t think Mr. Connery did a romantic comedy. . Perhaps something with Anthony Hopkins?

Ms. Williams
Oh, too bad. Mr. Connery is so sexy! He should get romantic leads. Hopkins is nice…, but he scares me… I was hoping for an older James Bond Teddy Bear!

Ben
Yes… well I have had a few of those requests lately

Ms. Williams
You have?

Ben
Yes I have…, that is why I keep this guy in the back.

Ms. Williams
So he knows a romantic comedy with Sean Connery?

Ben
No… you will see….

Ms. Williams
See what?!

Ben
I keep this in the back just for cases like you.

Ms. Willians
O.k… what is it? It’s not something vile is it?

Ben
No.., well yes. Well, um to me it is um vile… but to you… I think you will like it.

Ms. Williams
Uh..

Ben
Here. you go… (opens door) I keep these in the back just for customers like yourself.

(out walks a Scottish balding guy)

Ben
He’s been studying ancient Egyptian Hieroglyphics in the stock room.

Ms. Williams
OH!

Ben
….he’s zesty and pungent. He’s been smoking a pipe and eating raw garlic. He hasn’t showered for a month. I think you will like him.. He is angry half deaf and makes vile smells around three in the morning. Just make sure you feed him, take him for a walk in the park…, and above all keep him away from younger women.

Scottish guy
Who is this fair damsel. I demand you tell me who this angel is.

Ms. Williams
Oh!

Ben
This is the fair lady Williams.

Scottish Guy
Well it certainly is a pleasure my dear.

Ms. Williams.
Oh my!

Ben
Just doing my job.

Scottish Guy
Come, the game is afoot. Let us take our expedition to the museum.

Ms. Williams
Tee hee heee

Ben
I am glad you are happy.

Next guy in line
Perhaps you can help me…, I’m a metrosexual politically correct type.

Ben
I have just the thing. “Porn, the Musical” It is just the type of thing for a guy who spends his time around musical theatre people and yet likes women. You can get the best of both worlds.

————————————

Daniel just arrived in the airport in Los Angeles @ LAX and Chris sent a Russian Jewish guy named Alexi in a Mercedes S class to pick my brother Daniel up.(Alexi is from Washington Heights formerly) After the formal greeting Chris looks at Alexi… “Alexi aren’t you broke? Where in the hell is the Mercedes from?” Alexi looks over and says… “dating a rich woman… taking her kids out and stuff. Picking them up from school… you know? Gotta keep up the domestic appearance” Chris says…”you’re dating an older woman? Who is it? Alexi says, “Sharon Stone”


Rodney Dangerfield Naked

November 4, 2010
Noah David Simon


Noah Simon

Jun 22 2008 6:01 AM

I knew Rodney Dangerfield. I have a funny yet sad story about him. He certainly did not get the respect he wanted. During the late 90’s for some reason Dangerfield lost most of his fortune,,, (I think it had something to do with his comedy club that was poorly managed and went under) that is why he started doing bad movies like Ladybug. At any rate I think he was marginally homeless but still had a pass to all the expensive health clubs in Los Angeles. I worked at one club in Century City where “The Menendez Brothers” and Billy Dee Williams worked out together. You could always see the guy who played Mr. Roper in Three’s Company in the hot tub. My friend “SBAS”, came to me and informed me that he had just come out of the steam room with Rodney Dangerfield and that he saw something bizzare. I was not impressed. It was no news that Rodney used the club and I was not surprised that Dangerfield would be acting peculiar either..
“You don’t understand”, SBAS said.
“No” I said “I don’t”
SBAS insisted I go into the steam room to check up on Rodney.
I walked into the steam room and Rodney looked real pissed off. He was completely naked and was spitting on the steam room floor. Then I noticed something quite frightening. Between his legs were two of the largest testicles I have ever seen in my life. They were as big as grapefruit.
He had huge balls. Literally. I kid you not.
I guess he didn’t get any respect.

http://seesmic.com/video/p9jF542xTd


if you can’t see it, it can’t see you

June 23, 2010

Daft as a hairbrush, the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal is arguably the most insanely idiotically dense creature in existence. It believes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you. via bbc.co.uk

a Dubai-based IP-service portal left Israel off its map.

Apparently the Arab predilection for ignoring the facts and engaging in wishful thinking extends to the IP sphere. Newsflash for the guys running the site: Israel exists. Or was that flap a few months ago about some terrorist getting killed in a hotel in Dubai just a case of you guys getting worked up over what some ghosts did?

Not only does Israel exist, the PCT database lists 21590 published PCT applications having an Israeli applicant. That’s over 200 times more than the 104 such applications for the whole UAE. The disparity may partly explain why Israel weathered the financial crisis of 2008 and 2009 so much better than Dubai did. via israelmatzav.blogspot.com

Despite this, the Guide did state, erroneously, that “ravenous Bugblatter beasts often make a very good meal for (rather than of) visiting tourists” in its article on the planet Traal. This led to deaths of those who took it literally. The guide’s editors avoided lawsuit by summoning a poet to testify under oath that beauty was truth, truth beauty, and therefore prove that their claim, the nicer one, must be true. This led to life itself being held in contempt of court for being neither beautiful nor true, and subsequently being removed from all those present at the trial.

via en.wikipedia.org

Abrogation is a great way to avoid truth… but the denial gets funnier.

Israel Air Force aircraft have been spotted in recent days at a Saudi Arabian military base unloading military equipment in the city of Tabuk, in northwestern Saudi Arabia, according to a report from Iranian news agency FARS.
The base will reportedly be used as a forward operating base by the Israelis as part of an offensive on an Islamic country. 

Saudi Arabia on Saturday denied a report in the London Times that it had given Israel “clear skies” to attack Iran. According to the report, Saudi Arabia was testing its radar and defense equipment in order to partially disable defenses, in order to allow Israeli planes to fly over Saudi airspace in the event of an attack against Iranian nuclear facilities.

The report quotes a U.S. security official as saying that ‘The Saudis have given their permission for the Israelis to pass over and they will look the other way.’

The report quotes a U.S. security official as saying that “The Saudis have given their permission for the Israelis to pass over and they will look the other way. They have already done tests to make sure their own jets aren’t scrambled and no one gets shot down. This has all been done with the agreement of the [US] State Department.” It further quoted sources in the Saudi government as saying that officials in the country “all know” about the plan, and that they “will let them [the Israelis] through and see nothing.”


the Dubai Murder Investigation’s latest photos

March 8, 2010

Cats And Squirrels Hospital is now officially a suspect

here is what Dubai would be publishing if they were honest….


(created by Stephen E Hughes)