Art Vampire

June 28, 2008

Noah David Simon

When I was in school, there was this kid named Anthony that looked like the deep artist with the over serious scowl, the sideshow Bob hair and a goatee. He was charming with the ladies and threatening to anyone who doubted him. The staff liked him so much that he went on to Yale after Carnegie. I still remember his ugly abstract expressionist mud drawings that made the ladies squirm with interest. His pitch was that there were chemical reactions. Only problem with Anthony was he couldn’t draw.

I once got into a fight with him during a class. He insisted he couldn’t hear this video we were watching on Leon Golub because I was talking. I wasn’t keen on Leon’s work and any rate I was annoyed because with the price of tuition we were watching videos that I could of rented from the library. He started attacking me with a metal rod used as a pointing device. I took it away from him and started hitting him. Later I was blamed for being violent. The fingers were never pointed at him, even though he was the one who started getting physically threatening. I simply didn’t take his shit.

In another class we were given an assignment to do a corroborative drawing. I spent the week working on a painting to hand off to him. I gave him the piece I was working on and when the teacher asked what he did with it, he said he buried it and that it was the only way he could finish it. He said some day he would dig it up.

I got awful tired of his big testosterone man game. I had to listen to the feminists talk about all the flaws in the male sex, but when given exactly what they were describing… they got excited. It is awful hard to take anything people say about right and wrong when you have to face such hypocrisy.

Years later I ran into him when I was working as a salesman for the fake Yellow Pages (not a glamour job). I handed him a “Yellow” card and I could see the smugness in his face.